I cannot believe how lucky I am to get this AMAZING deleted scene from WINGS OF THE WICKED for my stop today on the SHADOWS IN THE SILENCE Blog Tour. I must have read it a million and one times. Then I went and read the finished copy. Then I came back and read it all over again.
And while I do agree with the author and with her editors that cutting the kiss from the book was the right thing to do for Ellie, as a huge Cadan fan, I love, love, love, love, loved reading and re-reading this scene. And I love knowing that at least in one possible version of Ellie’s story she did end up kissing Cadan. And liking it.
Unlike with my first stop on the tour (HERE), I will not delay any longer before I share both the author’s note – which you should really read first – and the scene. Because I know that both are WAY more interesting.
So without any further ado….
A WORD FROM THE AUTHOR
You’ll probably skip right over what I have to say so you can read the scene immediately, but I hope that after you read the infamous Cadan/Ellie kiss scene and finish freaking out, you’ll scroll back up to read this. In the first draft of Wings of the Wicked, after several traumatic events occur, Ellie breaks and bolts. She isolates herself in a park and is found by none other than Cadan, the demonic reaper whom she’s become close to. As in the final version of Wings, he convinces her to snap out of it and carry on, but he also professes his feelings for her. In the original version, he kisses her and she is in such a messed up state that she lets him.
My editor read this and said, “Courtney, this is a terrible idea.” She was right. Cadan was kind of taking advantage of her heartache in this scene and the kiss wasn’t right. I say often that this book has no love triangle (not that there’s anything wrong with them! I love them! There just isn’t one in this series.) because there is no one for Ellie besides Will. The purpose of Cadan’s character is to teach Ellie that shades of gray exist in a world where good and evil appear to be black and white. Cadan falling for Ellie gives him the motivation to rise out of the darkness he doesn’t want to spend eternity in and to find redemption. Ellie gives him a reason to fight against his demonic nature and the fate he always believed he was chained to. They save each other, much like Ellie and Will save each other.
Regardless, enjoy the scene that was never to be. It’s not official. It didn’t happen. You didn’t see anything. *waves hands and backs away*
THE DELETED SCENE
His smile then was smooth and warm, like white chocolate melting in my hands. He brushed my hair back over my shoulders. The snowflakes landing in my hair were tangling it. “You’re putting yourself in a dangerous position being out here without your Guardian.”
“I can take care of myself,” I said, noticing how he’d avoided my question.
“You have to admit, that’s a lot easier to accomplish when he’s with you,” he noted, his eyes on the bare skin exposed after he’d brushed my hair back.
“Why would you say that? You hate Will.”
“I don’t hate him,” he mused, rolling the words around on his tongue as if to taste them. “He’s in love with you, too.”
I froze and stared at him as he continued to look at my neck instead of my face. I didn’t think he breathed for that entire time. His body grew more tense the longer my eyes were glued to him and at last, he swallowed hard and looked up at me. The look he gave me was an intense mixture of shame and a desire for approval. He knew that I understood what he’d said, but I didn’t see regret on his face.
“That’s not very smart of you,” I said slowly.
His lips curved sensually and his fingers trailed along my jaw as he looked down at my lips. “I could do worse.” And with that, his confidence had returned.
I barely noticed the snowflakes falling around us anymore. “What could be worse than being in love with your enemy?”
“Acting on it.”
He was suddenly even closer, though it looked like he hadn’t moved a muscle. His scent and body warmth wrapped around me and it felt so safe and good here with him on the bench. His mouth couldn’t have been three inches from mine and my heart pounded harder and harder. His opal eyes were so bright that I almost had to look away. It was strange how these reapers’ eyes gave away their emotions so clearly.
“That’s true,” I breathed and swallowed. “But, Cadan…” I knew what he wanted to do, and I wasn’t entirely sure that I didn’t want him to do it. If he did, then I wouldn’t stop him. I thought of Will, of how we were so broken. I shouldn’t have been sitting on that bench with Cadan, about to let him kiss me, but I didn’t care. Will and I weren’t okay, and all we seemed to do lately was hurt each other. Maybe something new was my cure. His hand cupped my cheek and his fingers slid into my hair. His gaze searched every last inch of my face, maybe looking for a sign in my expression that told him to stop. Inside, I was screaming yes.
He leaned so close that I tasted his breath on my lips as my own caught in my chest. His brow furrowed with determination as his lips finally met mine and he took a deep breath, taking everything in—taking me in. The kiss was strong and impatient, as if he’d wanted it for so long that he couldn’t help himself. His mouth was warm and smelled sweet, and the more I returned his kiss, the more he relaxed. Despite all of the confidence he radiated, he was still so unsure of himself. And yet, he was an amazing kisser. When his body eased up, he kissed me deeper and seemed to melt right into me, all golden heat, hunger, and desperation. And then Will’s face flashed in my mind and the memory of him made my skin burn like acid everywhere that Cadan touched me. I peeled away from Cadan and he stared at me with broken eyes. He opened his mouth to speak and it took several tries for the words to come out.
“That was a terrible idea,” he said almost breathlessly. “I am so screwed.”
“Cadan,” I said, having no idea what to say to him. He’d just kissed me and I’d let him. A demonic reaper. Even scarier than that, I’d liked it. I liked him. I didn’t know him that well, but I trusted him. Something about him reminded me of Will, but at the same time, they were nothing like each other. They were both the opposite of what they were supposed to be: Will was darkness and strength and determination, and Cadan was like sunlight. Refreshing and golden. And right now, I needed anything but more darkness in my life.
He gave me such a sad look that I reached up and touched his cheek and his ear and the silk of his hair, just to make sure the strands weren’t spun from gold. “I can’t have you, can I?” he whispered.
I frowned. “Cadan…”
“If you say my name every day until I die,” he said with a gentle laugh, “then even the worst ending for me will be a joyful one.”
I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. He lowered his head until it rested on my shoulder and I stroked his hair. Everything about this was so strange, and yet so contenting. But even though I needed some kind of comfort, I had a feeling that he needed it more than I did. I held him, felt his breath on my shoulder beneath my coat, felt his hand lightly on my arm, still felt the brush of his lips on mine from moments ago. This is Cadan. The thought ran through my mind a hundred times and still I couldn’t fully comprehend it. Bastian’s son.
He sat up and looked into my eyes, his gaze deep and drilling. “I’ll do anything for you,” he said, his voice husky and earnest. “I’ll kill Bastian. I’ll even leave you alone if you want me to.”
I exhaled. “I don’t know what I want.”
He smiled. “You and me both.”
I studied his face without speaking for several moments. This time with him was exactly what I needed—kissing him aside. “Thank you, Cadan. You saved me tonight.”
“Go back to your Guardian,” Cadan said, his smile faint and longing.
I didn’t want to, but he was right. If I died without ending any of this awful mess, then my parents would have died for nothing. Will’s pain would have been for nothing. I couldn’t let him or Nana down.
I got up and stood in front of Cadan, looking down into his face. I ran my hand through his hair and he closed his eyes just for that moment. “Goodbye, Cadan.”
His eyes opened again, that crystalline fire opal bright in the dark. “Goodbye, Ellie.”
Wasn’t that just amazing? I mean ahhhhh-mazing amazing? I mean, the kind of amazing that ensures that you will check out WINGS OF THE WICKED just to see what words are exactly the same and what words are different?
It was exactly that kind of amazing, wasn’t it?
And I am so unbelievably stoked to have been able to share this scene with you all on my blog today.
I am also so thankful to Author Courtney Allison Moulton for sharing this scene, for allowing it to be a part of my blog’s stop, and for writing this absolutely gorgeous series with forever characters that I will adore for always.
And once again I have to thank Page Turners for including me as part of this tour and for sending me this scene quite a few days earlier than my stop so that I could get control of my emotions before having to create this post. The alternative would have been scary.
Before you go, be sure to check out the tour schedule below for direct links to the other awesome stops on this tour. And if you haven’t had the chance to grab a copy of SHADOWS IN THE SILENCE or add it to your shelf on Goodreads, there are a few links below where you can find it and the recently released novella A DANCE WITH DARKNESS.
And just in case there’s a super slim chance that you haven’t “met” the wonderful and brilliant author, there are links to a few places where you can find her online, too!
Your strength in heart and hand will fall. . . .
Ellie knows that the darkest moments are still to come, and she has everything to fight for:
She must fight for Will.
The demonic have resorted to their cruelest weapons to put Will in mortal danger, and Ellie makes an unlikely alliance to save him and to stop Lilith and Sammael, who seek to drown the world in blood and tear a hole into Heaven.
She must fight for humanity.
As the armies of Hell rise and gather for the looming End of Days, Ellie and her band of allies travel to the world’s darkest and most ancient regions in her quest to come into her full glory as the archangel Gabriel.
And Ellie must save herself.
Her humanity withers beneath the weight of her cold archangel power, but Ellie must hold tight to who she is and who she loves as she prepares for the ultimate battle for Heaven and Earth.
In this final installment in the Angelfire trilogy, Courtney Allison Moulton brings her dark world of epic battles and blistering romance to a blazing bright conclusion.
There were shadows in this alley that no light touched, and where there was no light, anything could hide.At the end of the fourteenth century, angelic reapers struggle to defend London against a legion of the demonic who have their sights set on claiming human souls and ancient relics for a dark purpose. Madeleine, a young but powerful warrior, is duty-bound to fight the demonic, and she lives for this pursuit above all else. Then, on a routine night of tracking, she is ambushed by a cadre of reapers and, though she defeats them all, she is left wounded and at the mercy of their lord, the notorious Bastian.
Madeleine is astonished when Bastian lets her live. She goes deeper into the world of the demonic and is shocked to meet him again-this powerful reaper whose touch makes her restless and gives her a thrill unlike anything else. When they fall into a dangerous clandestine affair, her head and her heart must wage their war: can their love overcome his demonic nature? Will her dance with darkness burn her or bring Bastian into the light?
With scorching romance and fantastic action, this original novella is a prequel to Courtney Allison Moulton’s gripping and epic Angelfire series.
Courtney Allison Moulton lives in Michigan, where she is a photographer and spends all her free time riding and showing horses. She has always loved reading about ancient mythologies, dead languages, and telling scary, romantic stories. ANGELFIRE is her debut novel.
For more information about Courtney, visit her online at www.courtneyallisonmoulton.
Week 1: Jan. 28-Feb. 1
Jan. 28 – Page Turners Blog – Trailer Teaser Pic: Ellie + Blog Tour Intro
Jan. 29 – Twitter Party with Courtney (@camoulton), et al.
Jan. 30 – Once Upon a Twilight – Trailer Teaser Pic: Will
Feb. 1 – The Book Cellar – Trailer Teaser Pic: Cadan
Week 2: Feb. 4-8
Feb. 4 – Supernatural Snark – Teaser: Shadows in the Silence
Feb. 6 – Mundie Moms – Behind-the-scenes Cover Pics
Feb. 8 – Fiktshun – Teaser: Shadows in the Silence
Week 3: Feb. 11-15
Feb. 12 – Page Turners Blog – Faux Action Girls
Feb. 13 – Once Upon a Twilight – Evolution of Angelfire Art
Feb. 15 – The Book Cellar – Deleted Scene
Week 4: Feb. 18-22
Feb. 18 – Supernatural Snark – Teaser: both Wings of the Wicked paperback ‘Extras’ scenes
Feb. 20 – Fiktshun – Deleted Scene
Feb. 22 – Mundie Moms – Finishing a trilogy, what my writing journey has been like
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