Welcome to the fifth stop on THE SLEEPING PRINCE Blog Tour. If you haven’t yet discovered this series by Author Melinda Salisbury you are seriously missing out. The books are dark and captivating, combining fairytale and folklore into something truly wonderful and magical and memorable.
The introductions tease the promise of the awesomeness to come and the endings just tease. If you don’t believe me, simply check out the first of the author’s favorite quotes and passages. And if you want to be teased a bit more, read numbers two through five.
While THE SLEEPING PRINCE is the second book in this series, you don’t have to read book one to fall in love. Of course if you want to be in the know while reading, and be more familiar with the world and a few of its players, you should definitely dive into THE SIN EATER’S DAUGHTER first.
This is not just a series with amazing covers. The stories are quite fantastic. And if you’d like the chance to win a copy of this second book in the series scroll down and enter in the Rafflecopter.
If you’d like to know more about the books and the author, some information is below. You can also visit the other stops on the tour for a few reviews, interviews and guest posts.
THE SLEEPING PRINCE comes out on May 31st, so now’s the perfect time to add it to your TBR pile and to pre-order your copy!
Title & Series: THE SLEEPING PRINCE (The Sin Eater’s Daughter #2)
Author: Melinda Salisbury
Release date: May 31, 2016
Publisher: Scholastic Press
Formats: Hardcover, paperback, eBook
Return to the darkly beautiful world of The Sin Eater’s Daughter with a sequel that will leave you awed, terrified . . . and desperate for more.
Ever since her brother Lief disappeared, Errin’s life has gone from bad to worse. Not only must she care for her sick mother, she has to scrape together rent money by selling illegal herbal cures. But none of that compares to the threat of the vengeful Sleeping Prince whom the Queen just awoke from his enchanted sleep.
When her village is evacuated as part of the war against the Sleeping Prince, Errin is left desperate and homeless. The only person she can turn to is the mysterious Silas, a young man who buys deadly poisons from Errin, but won’t reveal why he needs them. Silas promises to help her, but when he vanishes, Errin must journey across a kingdom on the brink of war to seek another way to save her mother and herself. But what she finds shatters everything she believed about her world, and with the Sleeping Prince drawing nearer, Errin must make a heartbreaking choice that could affect the whole kingdom.
The opening few paragraphs are some of my favourite work I’ve ever written. They set the tone for the whole book:
The night guard on the East Gate reached to scratch the sudden sharp itch at his throat. As his legs gave way beneath him and he crumpled, he saw his fingers, slick with blood, black in the dim glow from the lamp that lit the gate. He was dead before he hit the ground.
The golem stepped over his body.
The second guard turned, lips parted to scream, or swear, or beg, his sword rising to meet the creature, but too late. A silver flash through the air and the guard collapsed, his blood mingling with that of his colleague.
The lumpen, blank space where the golem’s face ought to be was tilted towards the sky, as though sniffing or listening. It passed through the gate, its misshapen head knocking the lamp, sending it swinging, casting nightmarish shadows over the thick stone wall of the East Gate. As the oil spilled and smoked, and the flame guttered, the golem stepped a trail of bloody footsteps through the gate and into the slumbering royal town of Lortune, dragging a club as long as itself in one hand, a large double-headed axe in the other.
Moments later a second golem followed, an axe and club of its own clutched in its twisted hands. Its weapons had yet to be christened.
The two creatures moved forward, slowly but steadily, their gait rocking and lilting, the motion more reminiscent of ships on the ocean than anything that moved on land.
The Sleeping Prince followed them.
As for the rest, presented without comment or context are my favourite non-spoilery lines from the book:
“Mysterious boys are not as enjoyable in reality as they are in stories.”
“How do I tell her?” he said. “How do I tell her he’s gone?”
My eyes narrow. I don’t believe him, and my left eyebrow creeps up to let him know it.
“You wouldn’t understand my reasons,” he roars, his face turning purple. “You don’t understand anything, you stupid girl. I was kind to you. I looked out for you. I would have taken care of you. But no. I’m not good enough for you. Little miss high and mighty from Tremayne.” His head tilts as he examines me and my jaw tightens in anger. “Look at you,” he continues. “You’re not even that pretty.”
“If you lay a hand on me—”
“Ha!” He cuts me off with a bark of laughter. “I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. Not now. Not now I know you’re soiled goods.”
“Needs more salt.” He smiles.
Melinda Salisbury lives by the sea, somewhere in the south of England. As a child she genuinely thought Roald Dahl’s Matilda was her biography, in part helped by her grandfather often mistakenly calling her Matilda, and the local library having a pretty cavalier attitude to the books she borrowed. Sadly she never manifested telekinetic powers. She likes to travel, and have adventures. She also likes medieval castles, non-medieval aquariums, Richard III, and all things Scandinavian. The Sin Eater’s Daughter is her first novel. She can be found on Twitter at @AHintofMystery, though be warned, she tweets often.
Title & Series: THE SIN EATER’S DAUGHTER (The Sin Eater’s Daughter #1)
Author: Melinda Salisbury
Release date: February 24, 2015
Publisher: Scholastic Press
Formats: Hardcover, paperback, audio, eBook
A startling, seductive, deliciously dark debut that will shatter your definition of YA fantasy.
Sixteen-year-old Twylla lives in the castle. But although she’s engaged to the prince, no one speaks to her. No one even looks at her. Because Twylla isn’t a member of the court. She’s the executioner.
As the goddess-embodied, Twylla kills with a single touch. So each week, she’s taken to the prison and forced to lay her hands on those accused of treason. No one will ever love her. Who could care for a girl with murder in her veins? Even the prince, whose royal blood supposedly makes him immune to her touch, avoids her.
But then a new guard arrives, a boy whose playful smile belies his deadly swordsmanship. And unlike the others, he’s able to look past Twylla’s executioner robes and see the girl, not the goddess. Yet a treasonous romance is the least of Twylla’s problems. The queen has a plan to destroy her enemies-a plan that requires an unthinkable sacrifice. Will Twylla do what it takes to protect her kingdom? Or will she abandon her duty in favor of a doomed love?
There is a tour-wide giveaway for…
Enter in the Rafflecopter below…
5.23.16 | Dark Faerie Tales – Interview
5.24.16 | Addicted Readers – Spotlight
5.25.16 | Two Chicks on Books – Interview
5.26.16 | Once Upon a Twilight – Review
5.27.16 | Fiktshun – Guest Post
5.30.16 | My Friends Are Fiction – Review
5.31.16 | Adventures of a Book Junkie – Guest Post
6.1.16 | The Broke and the Bookish – Review
6.2.16 | Fiction Fare – Interview
6.3.16 | Mundie Moms – Review
If you haven’t already heard the news, Jaime of Two Chicks on Books is a Perfectly Posh Independent Consultant and has been since February.
As a friend I wanted to help her spread the news about her new endeavor and share her giveaway for some of Perfectly Posh’s fab products.
I never post promos for non-bookish things, but in this case I’ve made an exception because Jaime is awesome, a staple in the bookish community, and the biggest book lover I know, and because I use and love some of Perfectly Posh’s products.
Below are a few words from Jaime about her consultancy, the products, and places to find her online. And at the bottom of the post is the Giveaway Rafflecopter in case you’d like to enter for a chance to win some yummy Perfectly Posh goodies.
Have you heard about Perfectly Posh? I became an independent consultant in February because I love these products so darned much! I want to share with you what Perfectly Posh is and give away a pampering kit!
PERFECTLY POSH IS A PAMPERING BRAND
If you love great products that are as fun as they are good for you then you’re going to love us. We were founded on some very simple principles:
We Simply Pamper
Nothing complicated, tiresome, or mundane here. Come and be taken care of.
The best ingredients
We know if you want a product to feel great when you use it, it should be made of great things. We use the very best and most natural ingredients available so you can be proud to wear and share it.
Made in the USA
We love our country and those who make it work. At Perfectly Posh, it’s all about putting growth and goodness into our own communities.
You deserve it
Yes, YOU. Life might never let you have a whole day off, but if you can take just a minute to take care of yourself you’ll be better able to do all the other things you need to. Take a little time to pamper YOU.
Perfectly Posh has tons of amazing products from face soaps and moisturizers, hand cremes, body soaps, body lotions, face masks, and more!
They also offer a perks program (think rewards card). Every order you place you receive perks that you can use in a future purchase to get an item(s) FREE. The more you rack up, the more FREE stuff you get. Also you get 500 FREE perks on your birthday!
On top of all that awesomeness, they ALWAYS offer a buy 5 get 6th FREE special, and $5 shipping NO MATTER the amount of stuff ordered. How cool is that?
So, Are you ready to #GetPampered?
I would love to be your consultant!
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/136917986698421/
Join my Facebook page I send out FREE samples, do giveaways, and talk about all things Posh!
Join my Facebook group, comment where you heard about my group (whether a blog, twitter post, etc.) and I’ll you’ll be entered to win a FREE lip balm!
If you’re in the Los Angeles area this weekend, be sure to stop by Vroman’s Bookstore in Pasadena on Sunday afternoon to attend Author Tobie Easton‘s Book Launch Party for EMERGE.
Details about the event, author and book follow below.
When: Sunday, May 22nd @ 3PM
Where: Vroman’s Bookstore, 695 E. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA 91101
Title: EMERGE (Mer Chronicles #1)
Author: Tobie Easton
Release date: April 19, 2016 (HC release date July 8th)
Publisher: Month9Books, LLC
Formats: Paperback, hardcover, eBook
Lia Nautilus may be a Mermaid but she’s never lived in the ocean. War has ravaged the seven seas ever since the infamous Little Mermaid unleashed a curse that stripped Mer of their immortality. Lia has grown up in a secret community of land-dwelling Mer hidden among Malibu’s seaside mansions. Her biggest problems are surviving P.E. and keeping her feelings for Clay Ericson in check. Sure, he’s gorgeous in that cocky, leather jacket sort of way and makes her feel like there’s a school of fish swimming in her stomach, but getting involved with a human could put Lia’s entire community at risk.
So it’s for the best that he’s dating that new girl, right? That is, until Lia finds out she isn’t the only one at school keeping a potentially deadly secret. And this new girl? Her eyes are dead set on Clay, who doesn’t realize the danger he’s in. If Lia hopes to save him, she’ll have to get closer to Clay. Lia’s parents would totally flip if they found out she was falling for a human boy, but the more time she spends with him, the harder it is for her to deny her feelings. After making a horrible mistake, Lia will risk everything to stop Clay from falling in love with the wrong girl.
Tobie Easton was born and raised in Los Angeles, California, where she’s grown from a little girl who dreamed about magic to a twenty-something who writes about it. A summa cum laude graduate of the University of Southern California, Tobie hosts book clubs for tweens and teens (so she’s lucky enough to spend her days gabbing about books).
She and her very kissable husband enjoy traveling the globe and fostering packs of rescue puppies. Tobie loves chocolate chip cookies and Oxford commas. Tobie is a member of SCBWI and YARWA, the Young Adult chapter of RWA.
I am super excited that CIRCLE OF JINN is releasing next week and that everyone will get to find out what Azra was trying not to spoil in her guest post below. (She was clearly having a hard time keeping secrets. I, on the other hand, have no problem keeping them. So you’ll have to find out on your own…unless Author Lori Goldstein plans on sharing a few secrets on other stops on the tour.)
If you want to know which five Jinn stereotypes Azra wishes weren’t true, be sure to check out her guest post below. (I definitely agree with her choices.) If you’d like to know more about each of the books in the series, information on all are also below. And if you’d like to know more about this series’ author, links to places you can find Lori Goldstein online are beneath her bio.
I also have a copy of CIRCLE OF JINN up for giveaway. So if you’d like the chance to win this awesome and delightful book, enter in the Rafflecopter. And if you plan on ordering (or already have ordered) CIRCLE OF JINN, details on a pre-order giveaway where you can get some super fun swag are at the bottom of this post.
And if you’d like to visit the other stops on tour, the schedule, which will be updated with direct links to each stop as they happen, is beneath the Rafflecopter.
The wait is almost over. So following this tour, with fun guest posts, interviews, and giveaways, is the perfect way to pass the time until CIRCLE OF JINN’s release.
Title & Series: CIRCLE OF JINN (Becoming Jinn #2)
Author: Lori Goldstein
Release date: May 17, 2016
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
Formats: Hardcover, eBook
Being Jinn is Azra’s new reality. As she grants wishes under the watchful eye of the Afrit council, she remains torn between her two worlds—human and Jinn. Soon, secrets spill. Zars are broken. Humans become pawns. And rumors of an uprising become real as the Afrit’s reach extends beyond the underground world of Janna.
Straddling the line becomes impossible. Aware of her unique abilities, Azra must not just face but embrace her destiny. But when the role she must play and those she must protect expand to include a circle of Jinn greater than her own, Azra will be forced to risk everything. A risk that means there’s everything to lose, and at the same time, everything to gain—for herself and her entire Jinn race.
In this dramatic sequel to Becoming Jinn, Azra’s story comes to a heartfelt and thrilling conclusion.
First off, thanks for not using the “g” word (genie . . . and especially for not letting my Lalla Samara hear it . . . *shudders*). I, Azra Nadira, am a Jinn, descended from a long line of Jinn. So long in fact, my family cantamen (our genie . . . er . . . Jinn handbook) weighs almost as much as I do.
But, if I’m being completely honest (a trait not inherent to Jinn considering we live among humans, pretending to be one of them, our entire lives), the Jinn share a myth or two with your big blue “genies.” Some of which, I’d give up chocolate and caffeine to have not be true.
1. Bound to a ring or a lantern . . . or a bangle. We Jinn receive our magical powers from a shiny, intricately carved bangle that doesn’t go with anything I own and yet is my permanent accessory. I can’t get it off. I tried. It’s not only my fashion sense, or lack there of, that wants it gone. I also want it gone because . . .
2. Tied to a master. My bangle ties me to a “master.” Not in the traditional sense of your genies, but it shackles me to the Afrit, the Jinn “council” (uh, yeah, not so much a council as a . . . oops! spoiler alert). They can track not just my use of magic but me through it. Creepy. Wrong. Which is why they must be stopped. Which is why I’m going to . . . (crud, this spoiler stuff is hard!).
3. Able to grant a literal wish. You know, the one where the woman wishes to be thin and the tradeoff is losing last night’s dinner every morning? Where the dude wants to be invisible and everyone in his life ignores him? We can get away with granting a wish that way. It’s frowned upon. It risks punishment. But it can and does happen. It’s not right. I may not have wanted to become a Jinn, but even I know that.
4. Transformed into someone . . . well, kinda, sorta, hot. In your world, genies, at least genies of the female persuasion, look like they stepped out of a Victoria’s Secret catalog. I used to think the Afrit were mocking humans for making us more attractive when we become Jinn (heck, they probably are), but mostly, our transformation into someone taller with shinier hair is simply genetic. We are all descended from Lalla Mimouna and Sidi Mimoun, the first Jinn power couple. Legend has it that Jinn were once spirit creatures, made of smokeless fire. These spirits inhabited a plane between the air and the earth and embodied the purest elements of the natural world. In return for corporeal form, the spirits agreed to use the magical powers nature bestowed on them to serve humans for the “greater good.” Guess “pure” translated into “hot” when those spirits got legs. Then again, Jinn are particularly clever. It wouldn’t surprise me if the bargain with nature included an eye-candy clause and we Jinn actually are the most shallow of species.
5. Prevented from granting our own wish. That’s one of the few things we can’t do. We spend our lives granting wishes for humans, but are never able to make our own wishes come true. If we could, what would my wish be? I used to think it would be to not become a Jinn, to be . . . normal. Simply Azra. Now? After (redacted) and (redacted), if I could grant my own wish, would it be the same? In a way, maybe, but it would be more. My wish would be to (redacted).
I’m telling you, I’m so glad CIRCLE OF JINN is coming out on May 17, because these spoiler alerts are killing me.
Lori Goldstein was born into an Italian-Irish family and raised in a small town on the New Jersey shore. She earned her bachelor’s degree in journalism from Lehigh University and worked as a writer, editor, and graphic designer before becoming a full-time author. She currently lives and writes outside of Boston. Lori is the author of the young adult contemporary fantasy series Becoming Jinn (Feiwel & Friends/Macmillan, April 21, 2015, sequel, Circle of Jinn, May 17, 2016). You can check out her editorial services here and visit her online at www.lorigoldsteinbooks.com.
Title & Series: BECOMING JINN (Becoming Jinn #1)
Author: Lori Goldstein
Release date: April 21, 2015
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
Formats: Hardcover, paperback, audio, eBook
Azra has just turned sixteen, and overnight her body lengthens, her olive skin deepens, and her eyes glisten gold thanks to the brand-new silver bangle that locks around her wrist. As she always knew it would, her Jinn ancestry brings not just magical powers but the reality of a life of servitude, as her wish granting is controlled by a remote ruling class of Jinn known as the Afrit.
To the humans she lives among, she’s just the girl working at the snack bar at the beach, navigating the fryer and her first crush. But behind closed doors, she’s learning how to harness her powers and fulfill the obligations of her destiny.
Mentored by her mother and her Zar “sisters,” Azra discovers she may not be quite like the rest of her circle of female Jinn . . . and that her powers could endanger them all.
Title & Series: GENIUS OF JINN (Becoming Jinn Prequel)
Author: Lori Goldstein
Release date: March 15, 2016
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
In this prequel to BECOMING JINN and the upcoming sequel CIRCLE OF JINN, thirteen-year-old Azra and her nemesis Yasmin are whisked away to a mysterious land with a special language, awe-inspiring architecture, and quirky toilets: France. As the enchanting French Jinn Tayma guides them through the streets of Paris, they discover not only a book of spells, but a truth neither of them is prepared for: that in their inevitable transition to becoming Jinn, their shared genie ancestry may just make them stronger together than they are apart.
Courtesy of the publisher, Feiwel & Friends…
I have a copy of CIRCLE OF JINN for giveaway to ONE (1) winner – US only.
Enter in the Rafflecopter below…
The sequel to BECOMING JINN, which VOYA Magazine named one of the Best Science, Fiction, Fantasy or Horror of 2015 in a starred review, releases on May 17, 2016.
Advance praise for CIRCLE OF JINN from Booklist says “book two takes a sharp turn into high fantasy . . . Romance and wish granting take a backseat to friendship, political intrigue, and Azra’s maturation and ongoing discovery of her heritage. Fans of the first book should be satisfied by this conclusion.”
Preorder or buy a new copy of CIRCLE OF JINN by May 27, 2016, and you’ll automatically become a genie* yourself!
Every preorder, including signed preorders from Lori’s local indie, Porter Square Books (both books available for signed orders), will be mailed a signed bookmark, signed bookplate, and metallic bracelet tattoos.
But wait, there’s more! You’ll also be entered into the grand giveaway to win one of the exact shiny silver bangles featured on the cover of both Becoming Jinn and Circle of Jinn. Details: http://www.lorigoldsteinbooks.com/2016/04/18/preorder-time/
* Swag includes temporary bracelet tattoos; the power to become a Jinn must already be inside you.
I’m so excited to celebrate the release day for THE SQUARE ROOT OF SUMMER by participating in this super fun one day only blog tour. The book is gorgeous and heartbreaking and amazing and I can’t wait for everyone to read it.
To celebrate THE SQUARE ROOT OF SUMMER, participating blogs were asked to share an object they’d want to include in a time capsule (and why). If you’d like to see what a few of the U.S. bloggers included, check out the Fierce Reads blog post. And if you’d like to see what the bloggers in the UK included, visit My Kinda Book throughout this month.
Additionally, we were asked to share answers to six “This Is Who I Am Now” questions back in February/March and then revisit them this month. If you’d like to know who I was then and who I am now, scroll down to my post.
If you’d like to know more about THE SQUARE ROOT OF SUMMER and its author, Harriet Reuter Hapgood, information about both book and author follow immediately below.
And, if you want to see what the other tour participants had to say, links to the blogs are at the bottom of the post.
Title: THE SQUARE ROOT OF SUMMER
Author: Harriet Reuter Hapgood
Release date: May 3, 2016
Publisher: Roaring Brook Press
Formats: Hardcover, eBook
This is what it means to love someone. This is what it means to grieve someone. It’s a little bit like a black hole. It’s a little bit like infinity.
Gottie H. Oppenheimer is losing time. Literally. When the fabric of the universe around her seaside town begins to fray, she’s hurtled through wormholes to her past:
To last summer, when her grandfather Grey died. To the afternoon she fell in love with Jason, who wouldn’t even hold her hand at the funeral. To the day her best friend Thomas moved away and left her behind with a scar on her hand and a black hole in her memory.
Although Grey is still gone, Jason and Thomas are back, and Gottie’s past, present, and future are about to collide—and someone’s heart is about to be broken.
Harriet Reuter Hapgood is a freelance fashion journalist and author of THE SQUARE ROOT OF SUMMER (coming May 2016). Her first-ever professional writing credit was for Just Seventeen magazine, and she’s been YA obsessed ever since. She likes burritos, cats, Gwyneth Paltrow and young adult fiction, which she plans to write more of, though she’s also considering a PhD in Dawson’s Creek. Follow her on Twitter: @hapgoodness and on Instagram: @hapgo0dness if you like pictures of cats
Spending time with The Dude and my little cat Daisy, reading, blogging, sailing.
Hanging out with The Dude and Daisy. Sailing. Quiet moments. Reading.
Nothing at the moment. I’m in the midst of moving and I have lost all ability to focus, read, function.
A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin (finally).
Being done with moving. OMG it is so stressful.
Summer. It promises longer days, longer (and warmer) sails.
Daisy’s health. She got really sick recently and I don’t want her to relapse.
My job. I’ve got so much work to do, I can barely breathe. I’ve had super long days (and nights) this past week and I’m totally freaking out.
My sailing log. You never know when you’re going to be invited to crew, or the mood strikes and you head out solo. Gotta have your log to document it all, so I keep it with me always.
Okay my answer in February was totally dumb. I don’t always have my logbook with me. I mean I almost always have it with me but not always. It wouldn’t survive a shower. I don’t take it with me when grabbing a Starbucks.
But what I do always have with me are my memories. And, thankfully, most of those I love having.
Tough question. About myself? Too many things. About the world? Too many things. But if I had to pick just one…
About me, I’d change my brain. It makes me stress over the small stuff. The big stuff. All the stuff. About the world, I’d change people’s tolerance.
Grr, still a tough Q. As far as I go, I wish I could change the past. I have few regrets in life. Life is about making mistakes and learning from them. But there are three things that happened in the past that I desperately wish I could change. As for the world, I wish I could make everyone kinder. Kinder toward each other, kinder to themselves, kinder to the creatures we share this planet with, kinder to the earth itself.
I am totally stoked to be today’s stop on the A TOTALLY AWKWARD LOVE STORY Blog Tour. I have an hysterically funny guest post by the authors for my stop, as well as a giveaway for a copy of the book, which releases on May 3rd.
If you haven’t added A TOTALLY AWKWARD LOVE STORY to your TBR pile, now’s the perfect time… Have you done it yet? I can wait…
Hannah and Sam’s story is so much fun (I laughed so hard there were tears), incredibly awkward at times (the title is not at all misleading), and there are moments that will have you cringing for each of them. It is a super fast read, one you’ll definitely want to read again, with characters you’ll hope get their happily ever after.
So be sure to add this one to your spring/summer reading lists. But be advised there will be several laugh-out-loud instances – so avoid the late night read next to a sleeping loved one, a public transportation read that will make you look quite mad, or a library read that will get you booted.
Details about A TOTALLY AWKWARD LOVE STORY and its authors are below, along with Lucy Ivison and Tom Ellen’s top five awkward dating moments. And you can enter the giveaway for a copy of the book in the Rafflecopter form.
Also, be sure to visit each of the stops on the tour. I’ll be updating the schedule at the bottom of the post with direct links and details for each stop.
Title: A TOTALLY AWKWARD LOVE STORY
Authors: Tom Ellen and Lucy Ivison
Release date: May 3, 2016
Publisher: Delacorte Press
Formats: Hardcover, audio, eBook
For fans of The DUFF, this hilarious and true-to-teen romance is Broad City meets Judy Blume.
The summer before college, Hannah swears she’s finally going to find The One. And for five perfect minutes, Hannah does find him. He’s cute and makes her laugh like crazy. She just wishes she’d caught his name, because Toilet Boy Cinderella really lacks sex appeal.
For Sam, the summer is off to a bad start for a million reasons. But for five minutes his luck changes: in a fancy restroom painted purple like it belongs in a Bond villain hideaway, Sam falls head over heels for some strange and hilarious girl. Of course, he doesn’t know her name. With his luck, he’ll never see her again, and he’ll remain a girlfriendless, moony-eyed virgin. Forever.
But another chance meeting brings them together, only to have a chance misunderstanding drive them apart . . . and then the cycle starts all over again. Madcap mishaps, raunchy hilarity, and deep romance follow these two wherever they go. For two people so clearly destined for each other, they sure have a hell of a lot of trouble even getting together.
“An engaging and endearing story of what it is to find your place in the world and a person to share it with.” – Kirkus Reviews
“…raunchy, irreverent slapstick in the vein of Louise Rennison’s Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging.” – Booklist
“There’s raunchy mishaps, total madcap hilarity, and, yes, even some romance. Basically the book will transport you back to your awkward teenage years.” – Bustle
“A fun romantic comedy.” – School Library Journal
This isn’t really a dating story involving me. Well, it does involve me, but I don’t have a starring role. I don’t think English people go on dates that much, really. I think we are new to the dating thing, which we have only adopted in a halfhearted manner since rom-coms arrived at the cinema. Anyway . . . I wanted to get off with a boy at a party once when I was nineteen. That is the British way of dating. When I got there, although I used my best tactics like dancing in sexy manner to Wham! on the patio, he didn’t seem very fussed and went to another party. Taking it in my stride, I had a few drinks and carried on dancing to Wham! But then I got tired . . . so I wandered off and found a bedroom and fell asleep. I woke up to my best friend, Calypso*, having sex with the boy she had a crush on and had gone to the party hoping to get with. She hadn’t realised I was there because I had burrowed myself into the duvet like a hibernating badger. I was too polite to move. It was awkward. (*Calypso is not her real name.)
I once asked a girl out in a bar, only to discover that her first name was the same as my surname (Ellen). I was slightly thrown by this at the time, but I was so pleased that she’d given me her number that I didn’t mention it. Then, by about the third date, I thought I had to finally break the news to her that if we ever got married her name would be Ellen Ellen. She found it quite funny, but when we eventually broke up a couple of months later, she did say, “Well, we were never going to get married, were we?” So I’ll always wonder what would have happened if I had a slightly less feminine last name. . . . Interesting side note: I also briefly dated a girl called Selin not long after this incident, so that was another relationship doomed to failure by my ridiculous surname.
Tom and I broke up the summer of my second year at university. I had only really ever been out with Tom. Anyway, my friend set me up on a date with someone who was generally considered to be a hottie. We went to see the first Pirates of the Caribbean film—so far, so first date-y. A random thing you also need to know is that it was this super, super hot summer. I am a self-respecting British woman, so obviously never leave the house without seventeen cardigans, but this one time because it was so hot I went out wearing only my carefully selected, brand-new lemon yellow Topshop sundress. At the end of the movie I deliberately raced ahead of everyone else to get to the loo. And then caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and realised I had my period ALL OVER the back of my yellow lemon special. Like I had been shot in the back. I phoned my friend who was on holiday in Majorca, who said quite rationally that she couldn’t really do anything to help, as she was on holiday in Majorca. And then I had to do a period walk of shame back out of the loo and to the boy. We did not go for dinner as planned.
I went into a pub a while back, and spotted a guy I used to go to school with. He was at a table with a girl, and from their slightly awkward body language it was clear they were on a first date. I went over to say hello, and the guy said, “Hi, Tom, this is Sarah. Sarah, this is Tom.” And the girl said: “It’s Katie.” There followed an extremely awkward silence, and I quickly made my excuses and left them to what remained of their intensely uncomfortable evening. They left pretty soon afterward, and I don’t imagine they’ve seen each other since. . . .
I once snuck into a boy’s house at one in the morning. His parents obviously had no idea I was there. Which was all well and good until I suddenly said, “I feel a bit unwell,” and tiptoed across the hall as quietly as possible before locking the bathroom door and proceeding to be extremely loudly and violently sick. For ages. And ages. Until his mother knocked on the door and said, “Marmaduke*, are you okay?” And I had to open the door and reveal it was not her son but a totally random girl puking all over her house. She had to hold my hair and call my parents. (*Marmaduke is not his real name.)
TOM ELLEN AND LUCY IVISION met at the end of high school and quickly became sweethearts. Though they broke up in college, they remain best friends. Lucy runs the online teen magazine Whatever After and teaches in girls’ schools across London, specializing in building confidence and creativity. Tom is a journalist and has written for Time Out, Vice, ESPN, Glamour, and many other publications. They cowrote A Totally Awkward Love Story, which was partially inspired by their own high school relationship. This is their first novel. Follow Lucy on Twitter at @lucyivison.
Courtesy of the publisher…
***Giveaway is US only. Prizing will be sent by the publisher.***
Enter in the Rafflecopter below…